Tonight I feel like the worst gf ever on earth. Cos of the whole helping chub get his project done saga. He said i’m nt supportive n understanding enough. He said he’s disappointed cos he’s prob nt impt to me,that’s why I’m all reluctant n unwilling to help. He said I need to learn to priotise my time in accordance to importance. Most importantly,he said I don’t understand him after all this while.
Tell me,how nt to shed a single tear? Tonight I really wish I can give this up and walk away for being such a gf I am. I only have one word for myself. I’m undeserving. Undeserving of the love and everything chub has showered on me. Tonight I really wish he give this up too,so I can stop living in guilt. Tonight,I wish I can really stop those tears now and those thoughts.
You know I don’t think things will be the same after this whole saga. How can it be when he has alrdy questioned the love I hv for him? of his importance to me? Things feel weird now. Even a hug feels foreign? I’m really down now. Nt looking fwd to my 21st nt looking fwd to anything at all. I don’t need anything. I just wish I can go somewhere far alone n just be with myself. Maybe after so long,I finally feel like I wanna start life afresh alone. I don’t wanna go thru night where I shed till my pillow’s all wet n pretend everything’s fine nth happened the nxt day.
I..I just need to wipe those tears off n sleep thru tonight. Tml will be a busy day at work since it’s national day,that saves me from more unnecessary thinking. Night you.
09
Aug
11
Unworthy. Undeserving. Broken.
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