Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

 

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never
became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical
details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Source :http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/

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Decided to copy and paste this article here to remind me of how precious life is,to make the right choice which makes me happy now,to live this life for myself and not for others,to appreciate and hold on to people I love and gives a meaning to my life and most importantly,it reminded me to not give up on any dreams I have.

Its sad knowing that many regret not realizing what they had always dreamt of being/doing as they just never mustered enough courage at that point in time to give it a shot. I should really start giving everything I think would make me a happier person a shot and not always think of the what ifs/I don’t think I can. I don’t wanna die in regrets too.

So,living out of a suitcase has always been my dream. You know I actually had an ideal future planned out for myself just after I graduated from secondary. Which unfortunately till date,I seem to be moving in the opposite direction of what I’ve hoped for myself. I didn’t make it to cjc,which was the only jc I really wanted to get into then,besides sajc which was unattainable. Not surprisingly,my planned included getting into the top 3 local unis in Singapore. Thereafter,I hope to join one of the worlds most sought after airline,which I’m really proud of,coming from a small red dot on the map. I knew from the day I made plans for my future,I’ll not settle for any other airlines.

Till date,none of my dreams went my way. But I’m happy with my alternative choices,maybe besides enrolling for uol. Ha! I’m thankful I gt into SP and made some really good friends. Those 3 years struggling with meeting project deadlines at the eleventh hour,long breaks which say us never coming back for lesson after,the journey at SP was nothing short of fulfilling. My uni life at SIM is terrible. Given the examination structure,which I’m not cut out for,it really makes me detest school quite abit. Given a choice again,I certainly wouldn’t enroll with uol again. I’d rather get a loan,pay more and register with Birmingham or buffalo,cos at least I know I’ll be happier being in that environment. Ahh well,no crying over spilt milk so I’m hanging in there earnestly hoping praying I get my degree by this June and get my ass outta sim.

Aferwhich,I’ll be given an opportunity to live the last stage of my dream when I was 17. 5 yrs later,I’m still holding on to that dream. Alot of negativity and self confidence issues,but I’ll give it a shot. No regrets even if I fail,cos at the very least I tried 🙂

Alright time to get my mask off,just wanna pen down my thoughts here so I can read back and reflect in time to come. I just wanna say,I know deep down even if I don’t get to live my dream,God will have greater things planned out for me and for that,I’m thankful 🙂